dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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