I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
