Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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