So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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