I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
