Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
