yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she looked like the before picture.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
