It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
