a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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