i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
