Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
