I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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