Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
