So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
