I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
