You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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