I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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