Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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