in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
