i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
