I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
