youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
