From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
