What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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