drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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