We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
