okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
