Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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