My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
