We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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