I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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