Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
