Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
