He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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