The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think my vagina is haunted
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
