Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
