Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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