I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
