jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize