I'm so fucking centered right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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