Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
