No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
