I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
