Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We just shotgunned beers for America
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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