you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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