I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
