Are we in a gay sports bar?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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