Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
