I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
