She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I love you. Go after that dick
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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