I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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