If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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