I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
