His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
