You can't special order awesome
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
