Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
