Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize