I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize