THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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