just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize