His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She even gives head with a lisp.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize