new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
