Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is not my ceiling
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
