Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The power of my boobs compel you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize