dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
